Maybe this one is the real one, not the one I thought it was

Used to think that the love I have for someone in my past is unconditional. But to think of it now... maybe it isn't?

Because, yes I want my ex-partner to be happy, but I (unconsciously and indirectly) don't want to know what he's up to.
Maybe it was just to make myself calm, to think my love for him was unconditional, when it's actually not. I was letting him go saying my love was unconditional and that his happiness is mine too, when I was actually being forced to let him go. If it's really unconditional, knowing what he's up to should be making me curious. But it's not. I don't want to know what he's up to, not because I'm afraid of being triggered, but because I don't really want to know.. Used to wish him happiness in my prayer, but before I know it, I stop saying his name. And now that I realize that I stop saying his name in my prayer, I think my love for him isn't as pure as I thought it was.. Maybe how I was hurt is taking part for this?


But this time, for this person, is different. I do love him, but having him is not my priority. I realize that I'm excited whenever I open my social media and there's his post queueing, excited to know what he's up to. Even when I see him posting a photo with a woman (that I take it as his partner), I'm not really that sad and brokenhearted. Knowing that he got his dream job is make me happy too.

Is this..the real meaning of loving someone..unconditionally?

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